








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2003 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,113 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1464 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1113 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1251 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1285 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,475 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pe4ka69 | 21 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Smurfy | 13 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Panda™ AKA Enkurs | 13 | 0.0156 |
| #4 | NeonsXN | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | pufteito | 4 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pe4ka69 | 117 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #2 | NeonsXN | 108 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Smurfy | 78 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | pufteito | 66 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Panda™ AKA Enkurs | 64 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda™ AKA Enkurs | +3.88 | 90 | 36 |
| #2 | NeonsXN | +2.08 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | DZHAANIS | +1.80 | 62 | 36 |
| #4 | pufteito | +1.66 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | Frostijs | +1.58 | 71 | 59 |





