








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3614 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3233 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3307 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3002 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $837,083 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 571 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoshR | 65% | 94 |
| #2 | Wilma Dickfitt | 63% | 62 |
| #3 | ChoChoNut | 62% | 151 |
| #4 | Xx_Dats.Da.Wong.hole_xX | 61% | 136 |
| #5 | Adster | 58% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Adster | 58% | 150 |
| #6 | YcL | 58% | 234 |
| #7 | Feathers McGraw | 57% | 82 |
| #8 | ✪ LoderoYT ⭕⃤ | 52% | 84 |
| #9 | Knowspass | 51% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YcL | 17 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Adster | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Feathers McGraw | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | JoshR | 10 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | ChoChoNut | 8 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adster | 667 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | Xx_Dats.Da.Wong.hole_xX | 642 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #3 | YcL | 606 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #4 | ChoChoNut | 591 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #5 | JoshR | 422 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilma Dickfitt | +1.64 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | JoshR | +1.47 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | Xx_Dats.Da.Wong.hole_xX | +1.39 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | ChoChoNut | +1.29 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | YcL | +0.90 | 66 | 56 |





