








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 606 | 23% |
| Smokes | 613 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 845 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 616 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $515,320 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | George Floyd | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Sean O'Malley ⛟ | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | Kimble | 47% | 76 |
| #4 | Niisku | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Makita | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sean O'Malley ⛟ | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | Kimble | 47% | 76 |
| #4 | Niisku | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Makita | 42% | 19 |
| #6 | 宮本 武蔵 | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 宮本 武蔵 | 11 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | Kimble | 10 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Sean O'Malley ⛟ | 8 | 0.0229 |
| #4 | Makita | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | George Floyd | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 宮本 武蔵 | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kimble | 46 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | Makita | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sean O'Malley ⛟ | 24 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | George Floyd | 17 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | George Floyd | +10.56 | 93 | 71 |
| #2 | 宮本 武蔵 | +2.11 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | Dinosaur with over 500 teeth | -0.23 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | Sean O'Malley ⛟ | -0.93 | 33 | 58 |
| #5 | Niisku | -2.89 | 51 | 40 |





