








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 994 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1057 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1105 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 904 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $900,741 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Zucc | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Southwick | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Donl | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Toxicfrog02 | 56% | 39 |
| #5 | IronReaper85 | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Donl | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Toxicfrog02 | 56% | 39 |
| #5 | IronReaper85 | 56% | 16 |
| #6 | Tadeen | 56% | 32 |
| #7 | bubster | 54% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxicfrog02 | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | bubster | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Tadeen | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Southwick | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | The Zucc | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubster | 313 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Toxicfrog02 | 158 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tadeen | 91 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Southwick | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Zucc | 46 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Zucc | +7.65 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | Toxicfrog02 | +4.83 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | Southwick | +3.22 | 84 | 33 |
| #4 | bubster | +1.86 | 55 | 51 |
| #5 | Tadeen | +0.54 | 50 | 41 |





