










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 605 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1158 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1202 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 813 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,673 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuna | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | fL1Ck | 71% | 52 |
| #3 | ztc | 68% | 38 |
| #4 | Lil-R | 67% | 24 |
| #5 | swuishy | 67% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swuishy | 7 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | LF | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ztc | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | raeanz | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | fL1Ck | 3 | 0.0028 |





