








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 948 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1149 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1215 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1233 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $712,303 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | ♥ Hoodlump ♥ FREE PALESTINE | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | Darthmay6 | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Baggy | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | ZADOK | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Darthmay6 | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Baggy | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | ZADOK | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | leenut butter | 34% | 32 |
| #7 | Dlew | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baggy | 3 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | ZADOK | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | leenut butter | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | T | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Hoodlump ♥ FREE PALESTINE | 162 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #2 | leenut butter | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Baggy | 68 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | ZADOK | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | T | 37 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Aamuset | +1.09 | 63 | 55 |
| #2 | ZADOK | +0.82 | 64 | 44 |
| #3 | Darthmay6 | +0.47 | 33 | 40 |
| #4 | Dlew | -0.10 | 89 | 53 |
| #5 | T | -0.43 | 42 | 48 |





