








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1852 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 323 matches | ||
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Wingman | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




155 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6368 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4313 | 17% |
| Smokes | 8244 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5344 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6756 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,614,593 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1501 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | 63% | 73 |
| #2 | w | 50% | 46 |
| #3 | Big sloth | 45% | 51 |
| #4 | Good Hands | 44% | 281 |
| #5 | leenut butter | 42% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | leenut butter | 42% | 193 |
| #6 | Clappy | 42% | 45 |
| #7 | ocet | 40% | 47 |
| #8 | khushkhush | 40% | 73 |
| #9 | Baggy | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | 30 | 0.0213 |
| #2 | Baggy | 16 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | Good Hands | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | leenut butter | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Big sloth | 9 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | leenut butter | 503 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Good Hands | 378 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | khushkhush | 312 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Baggy | 134 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | w | 93 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w | +2.66 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | PUΓPLΣ (shitfaced) | +2.65 | 98 | 42 |
| #3 | khushkhush | +1.20 | 67 | 69 |
| #4 | Darthmay6 | +0.94 | 43 | 47 |
| #5 | Clappy | +0.74 | 37 | 62 |





