










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,084 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 253 | 23% |
| Smokes | 204 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 271 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 356 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $199,690 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bandzi0rPDW | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Matthijs de Bór | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | zayonce | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | FatBat | 59% | 34 |
| #5 | FatBear | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FatBat | 139 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | FatBear | 37 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | FatRat | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Matthijs de Bór | 35 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | zayonce | 27 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zayonce | +4.61 | 80 | 38 |
| #2 | FatRat | +1.94 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | FatBear | +1.50 | 73 | 53 |
| #4 | FatBat | +1.03 | 82 | 48 |
| #5 | Bandzi0rPDW | -0.90 | 75 | 41 |





