








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 950 | 25% |
| Smokes | 797 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1246 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 821 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,393 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Greedy Gooper | 44% | 104 |
| #6 | Hopeless | 44% | 80 |
| #7 | sosa | 42% | 84 |
| #8 | Off Da Goop | 35% | 46 |
| #9 | splark | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hopeless | 437 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | Greedy Gooper | 361 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | Off Da Goop | 293 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #4 | sosa | 249 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Blockwork | 115 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | block spinner | +4.82 | 88 | 80 |
| #2 | Hopeless | +3.54 | 77 | 80 |
| #3 | Blockwork | +2.40 | 89 | 58 |
| #4 | sniper gang kodak | +0.28 | 73 | 60 |
| #5 | Jacko | -0.43 | 69 | 52 |





