








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3126 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2956 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2234 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2234 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $726,320 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blockwork | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Hopeless | 59% | 85 |
| #3 | sniper gang kodak | 58% | 45 |
| #4 | sosa | 55% | 107 |
| #5 | block spinner | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sosa | 55% | 107 |
| #5 | block spinner | 48% | 27 |
| #6 | Off Da Goop | 44% | 54 |
| #7 | Greedy Gooper | 44% | 79 |
| #8 | Jacko | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Off Da Goop | 13 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Hopeless | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | block spinner | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | sosa | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Greedy Gooper | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hopeless | 439 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | Off Da Goop | 379 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #3 | sosa | 297 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Greedy Gooper | 297 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #5 | sniper gang kodak | 122 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hopeless | +2.94 | 78 | 80 |
| #2 | Blockwork | +2.80 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | block spinner | +1.77 | 79 | 75 |
| #4 | sniper gang kodak | +1.36 | 79 | 63 |
| #5 | sosa | +0.73 | 72 | 66 |





