








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2672 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 357 matches | 2,023 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6175 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3442 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 5367 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3786 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,515,693 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2568 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robo死 | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | Lituna | 45% | 117 |
| #3 | juli | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | savvy | 42% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robo死 | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | Lituna | 45% | 117 |
| #3 | juli | 45% | 29 |
| #4 | savvy | 42% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lituna | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Robo死 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | juli | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | savvy | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lituna | 276 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Robo死 | 213 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | savvy | 125 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | juli | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lituna | +5.11 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | styx | +1.50 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Robo死 | +1.03 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | juli | -1.92 | 43 | 52 |
| #5 | savvy | -4.64 | 42 | 32 |





