








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 432 | 23% |
| Smokes | 239 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 476 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 761 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,026 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | plmm3ll3ck3r_007 | 41% | 110 |
| #2 | BigBober. | 39% | 41 |
| #3 | Dark_PsYcHoTiX | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | plmm3ll3ck3r_007 | 41% | 110 |
| #2 | BigBober. | 39% | 41 |
| #3 | Dark_PsYcHoTiX | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | plmm3ll3ck3r_007 | 27 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | BigBober. | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Dark_PsYcHoTiX | 5 | 0.0179 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigBober. | 219 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | plmm3ll3ck3r_007 | 162 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dark_PsYcHoTiX | 25 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigBober. | +3.17 | 67 | 53 |
| #2 | plmm3ll3ck3r_007 | -0.39 | 12 | 56 |
| #3 | Dark_PsYcHoTiX | -1.20 | 45 | 45 |
| #4 | lol | -1.70 | 32 | 35 |





