








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1984 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1787 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1955 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1795 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,771 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TruKhakis | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | HuNer | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | armycat | 53% | 72 |
| #4 | Valstailei | 51% | 144 |
| #5 | Jeremy Fragrance | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jeremy Fragrance | 48% | 48 |
| #6 | utima | 45% | 22 |
| #7 | EdgarAllanChode | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | afflix | 43% | 21 |
| #9 | frog collector | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | armycat | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Valstailei | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | frog collector | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Jeremy Fragrance | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | TruKhakis | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valstailei | 220 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jeremy Fragrance | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | afflix | 94 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | HuNer | 84 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #5 | armycat | 58 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frog collector | +3.30 | 68 | 55 |
| #2 | EdgarAllanChode | +3.16 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | Clayton Bigsby | +1.66 | 67 | 59 |
| #4 | afflix | +0.37 | 61 | 66 |
| #5 | HuNer | +0.29 | 73 | 54 |





