








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 526 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 515 matches | ||
| Faceit | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7127 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8412 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8242 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7684 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,449,007 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Keylow | 52% | 378 |
| #4 | MEGISCO | 48% | 419 |
| #5 | Aggi | 48% | 156 |
| #6 | Oxy | 48% | 568 |
| #7 | 10kwolfpain | 47% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keylow | 19 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | MEGISCO | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Oxy | 8 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | .xz | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Aggi | 8 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEGISCO | 1306 | 0.15 | 38 min |
| #2 | Oxy | 1053 | 0.09 | 25 min |
| #3 | .xz | 689 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #4 | Keylow | 677 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #5 | 10kwolfpain | 529 | 0.15 | 15 min |





