








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 921 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 529 matches | ||
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8627 | 28% |
| Smokes | 10521 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5599 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5609 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,550,366 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PuR1maN | 51% | 41 |
| #5 | 10kwolfpain | 49% | 153 |
| #6 | Aggi | 49% | 296 |
| #7 | Oxy | 49% | 491 |
| #8 | Kaneda Shotaro | 48% | 419 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aggi | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Keylow | 16 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Kaneda Shotaro | 9 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | .xz | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Oxy | 4 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oxy | 930 | 0.09 | 23 min |
| #2 | Kaneda Shotaro | 876 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #3 | .xz | 589 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #4 | Keylow | 569 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | 10kwolfpain | 464 | 0.15 | 13 min |





