








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
884 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,743 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 671 | 18% |
| Smokes | 987 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1221 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 864 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,135 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Amazing Nut | 40% | 10 |
| #7 | gylo | 39% | 28 |
| #8 | Pätkis | 36% | 45 |
| #9 | K1Vi | 32% | 22 |
| #10 | יד שמאל של אלוהים | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pätkis | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | K1Vi | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | gylo | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Bunccy | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | wwi | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pätkis | 137 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | LAZARB0 | 72 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | K1Vi | 47 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hene | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Amazing Nut | 34 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pätkis | +2.99 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | wwi | +2.37 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | LAZARB0 | +1.42 | 79 | 55 |
| #4 | Hene | +1.19 | 77 | 52 |
| #5 | Bunccy | +1.17 | 48 | 64 |





