








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 437 | 14% |
| Smokes | 981 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 651 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1144 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,119,439 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Pätkis | 40% | 181 |
| #10 | Bubbles | 39% | 28 |
| #11 | S0mple | 39% | 31 |
| #12 | Lattu | 37% | 19 |
| #13 | K1Vi | 31% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pätkis | 20 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | K1Vi | 11 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | LAZARB0 | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | wwi | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | יד שמאל של אלוהים | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pätkis | 538 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | LAZARB0 | 352 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | יד שמאל של אלוהים | 208 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | K1Vi | 188 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pokimanefanboy | 187 | 0.10 | 5 min |





