








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1235 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2081 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1683 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1880 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,440,987 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | esso | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | Foksijest | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | SAUSAGELOVER | 56% | 73 |
| #4 | Matias | 55% | 155 |
| #5 | teppo | 54% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teppo | 1064 | 0.35 | 32 min |
| #2 | egor | 373 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Matias | 306 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | SAUSAGELOVER | 186 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | meequ | 155 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teppo | +3.90 | 90 | 78 |
| #2 | Foksijest | +3.29 | 62 | 67 |
| #3 | SAUSAGELOVER | +1.26 | 59 | 67 |
| #4 | egor | +0.77 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | meequ | +0.69 | 67 | 53 |





