








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1038 | 28% |
| Smokes | 618 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1188 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 912 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,216 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ToMeier117 | 43% | 30 |
| #7 | Bua9595 | 41% | 32 |
| #8 | SpLit | 40% | 58 |
| #9 | PATGUN | 35% | 20 |
| #10 | ToxicPuppy | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bua9595 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Dooms | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | DR.Psychedelic | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Foh'kin Scroob | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YEETMAN3000 | 188 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | SpLit | 109 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bua9595 | 108 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | ToMeier117 | 100 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | DR.Psychedelic | 46 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YEETMAN3000 | +1.95 | 61 | 61 |
| #2 | Dooms | +1.77 | 58 | 50 |
| #3 | Foh'kin Scroob | +1.60 | 54 | 55 |
| #4 | DR.Psychedelic | +1.21 | 56 | 68 |
| #5 | knigidiknack | +0.24 | 61 | 53 |





