








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1050 | 41% |
| Smokes | 698 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 44 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 785 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,346 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Black | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | c0mplicated | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | sam1e | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | supermuki | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | ≧◡≦ | 49% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | supermuki | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | ≧◡≦ | 49% | 85 |
| #6 | Hachi | 49% | 110 |
| #7 | - | 40% | 25 |
| #8 | Drug Tito | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hachi | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | c0mplicated | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | ≧◡≦ | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | sam1e | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Mr.Black | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hachi | 227 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | ≧◡≦ | 111 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | supermuki | 100 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mr.Black | 71 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | c0mplicated | 69 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Black | +3.30 | 78 | 53 |
| #2 | c0mplicated | +2.70 | 73 | 31 |
| #3 | ≧◡≦ | +2.53 | 74 | 48 |
| #4 | VACation | +1.72 | 65 | 31 |
| #5 | - | +1.54 | 54 | 52 |





