








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 734 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1237 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1876 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1279 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $759,210 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRT33TZ | 49% | 51 |
| #2 | Frost | 46% | 24 |
| #3 | MRBEASTY2U | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Alonzo Harris | 43% | 124 |
| #5 | bake | 38% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Frost | 46% | 24 |
| #3 | MRBEASTY2U | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Alonzo Harris | 43% | 124 |
| #5 | bake | 38% | 60 |
| #6 | ogan | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alonzo Harris | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | MRT33TZ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | ogan | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Frost | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | MRBEASTY2U | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alonzo Harris | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #2 | MRT33TZ | 28 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #3 | bake | 25 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | MRBEASTY2U | 22 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | ogan | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alonzo Harris | +1.80 | 30 | 34 |
| #2 | Lil_Beasty | -0.52 | 47 | 55 |
| #3 | bake | -1.53 | 39 | 36 |
| #4 | ogan | -2.01 | 55 | 33 |
| #5 | Frost | -2.29 | 25 | 16 |





