








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 440 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,320 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4101 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3711 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3381 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2127 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,455 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 299 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ish Le Avocado. | 67% | 42 |
| #2 | ₮₩ł₴₮ɆĐ | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Airport Hobo | 45% | 167 |
| #4 | 8 Ball Bones | 41% | 156 |
| #5 | Dr.Ballbag | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ish Le Avocado. | 67% | 42 |
| #2 | ₮₩ł₴₮ɆĐ | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Airport Hobo | 45% | 167 |
| #4 | 8 Ball Bones | 41% | 156 |
| #5 | Dr.Ballbag | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8 Ball Bones | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Ish Le Avocado. | 8 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Dr.Ballbag | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Airport Hobo | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8 Ball Bones | 289 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Airport Hobo | 265 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Ish Le Avocado. | 171 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | ₮₩ł₴₮ɆĐ | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dr.Ballbag | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | falken (new mouse) | +3.61 | 71 | 60 |
| #2 | Ish Le Avocado. | +1.12 | 63 | 56 |
| #3 | ₮₩ł₴₮ɆĐ | +0.38 | 33 | 75 |
| #4 | 8 Ball Bones | +0.28 | 51 | 60 |
| #5 | Airport Hobo | -2.20 | 48 | 57 |





