








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 600 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,987 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8190 | 48% |
| Smokes | 2586 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3025 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3186 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,826,854 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Its Time To Duelies | 56% | 63 |
| #4 | LifeOfGirth | 55% | 58 |
| #5 | Quindrik | 54% | 91 |
| #6 | xTavern | 47% | 170 |
| #7 | fella with attitude | 44% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Its Time To Duelies | 229 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | fella with attitude | 166 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Quindrik | 156 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | LifeOfGirth | 113 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | GS-SQUIRTIS | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |





