










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1207 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1200 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1157 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1618 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1212 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $690,922 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chinol | 23 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | ✞Francuz✞ | 11 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Kim Jong Goku | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | LX | 7 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Krawczyk MPK | 6 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kim Jong Goku | 235 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Chinol | 155 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Krawczyk MPK | 149 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✞Francuz✞ | 122 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | LX | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |





