








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 583 matches | ||
| Wingman | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




167 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2446 | 15% |
| Smokes | 7954 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 4816 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1500 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $472,428 of utility $18 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2563 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nik | 50% | 513 |
| #2 | Selling Grippers | 46% | 300 |
| #3 | Can't win | 46% | 295 |
| #4 | Sour™ | 40% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nik | 50% | 513 |
| #2 | Selling Grippers | 46% | 300 |
| #3 | Can't win | 46% | 295 |
| #4 | Sour™ | 40% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nik | 97 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Selling Grippers | 36 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Can't win | 27 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Sour™ | 26 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Can't win | 497 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Nik | 364 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #3 | Selling Grippers | 105 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sour™ | 87 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nik | +1.24 | 37 | 33 |
| #2 | Le Adrian | +1.04 | 46 | 27 |
| #3 | Selling Grippers | -0.62 | 68 | 22 |
| #4 | Sour™ | -0.84 | 34 | 38 |
| #5 | Can't win | -1.17 | 27 | 48 |





