










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 802 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




151 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7843 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2027 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3104 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2639 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3092 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,947,936 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | lenZz | 51% | 61 |
| #3 | Le Adrian | 50% | 513 |
| #4 | Selling Grippers | 49% | 488 |
| #5 | Sour™ | 45% | 149 |
| #6 | Austin57 | 45% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le Adrian | 102 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Selling Grippers | 50 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Sour™ | 33 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | Austin57 | 20 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | lenZz | 8 | 0.0062 |





