








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 252 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




215 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10961 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2870 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 11178 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 6875 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,574,007 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salad | 54% | 327 |
| #2 | Because_y_not | 54% | 127 |
| #3 | trix | 50% | 172 |
| #4 | Dewdy Booty | 50% | 212 |
| #5 | MapLE | 47% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salad | 510 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | Dewdy Booty | 440 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | trix | 328 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Because_y_not | 310 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | MapLE | 252 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salad | +5.78 | 74 | 46 |
| #2 | Dewdy Booty | +5.26 | 86 | 56 |
| #3 | Because_y_not | +1.51 | 73 | 53 |
| #4 | MapLE | +0.49 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | Klean | +0.05 | 43 | 48 |





