








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,056 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3650 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2645 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2922 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2839 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,765,511 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 411 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





