








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1000 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1931 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3625 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 2139 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,865,213 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1780 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Kiyue | 47% | 124 |
| #4 | Watermelon | 46% | 39 |
| #5 | Lily ✘ | 46% | 343 |
| #6 | pickle | 41% | 94 |
| #7 | word | 41% | 222 |





