








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1068 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1101 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1310 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 971 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $680,249 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jantu | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Flyntti | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Jupa | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Linkki | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ 🍌⛟ | 49% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Pepperoni pizza with garlic | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | Jogeribogeri | 39% | 44 |
| #11 | ranu | 33% | 18 |
| #12 | Örkinrumilus | 26% | 19 |
| #13 | Jigglypuff | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jogeribogeri | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ 🍌⛟ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Mèl | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Jupa | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ 🍌⛟ | 188 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Jogeribogeri | 114 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jupa | 85 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mèl | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Flyntti | 60 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0ris | +4.20 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ 🍌⛟ | +2.65 | 87 | 62 |
| #3 | jantu | +2.55 | 56 | 50 |
| #4 | Tiikeri | +1.76 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | TakuPulla | -0.42 | 53 | 57 |





