








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 672 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2096 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1863 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1905 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1682 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,074,721 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0ris | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | jantu | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | Jupa | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Flyntti | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | ranu | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mèl | 42% | 60 |
| #8 | Linkki | 40% | 35 |
| #9 | Jogeribogeri | 40% | 35 |
| #10 | Örkinrumilus | 31% | 16 |
| #11 | Jigglypuff | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mèl | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | TakuPulla | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Örkinrumilus | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Jogeribogeri | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | b0ris | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TakuPulla | 150 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jogeribogeri | 87 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | jantu | 78 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jupa | 71 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Flyntti | 69 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0ris | +2.52 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | jantu | +1.89 | 52 | 57 |
| #3 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ 🍌⛟ | +1.63 | 85 | 56 |
| #4 | Flyntti | +0.02 | 72 | 71 |
| #5 | Linkki | -0.56 | 44 | 28 |





