








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 607 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1030 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1556 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1153 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,317,039 of utility $312 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRAKEO THE RULER | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | stopmakingfunofme6 | 46% | 74 |
| #3 | xxxTRANNYSLAMMER78xxx | 44% | 126 |
| #4 | Maurice | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | RjsIII | 43% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Maurice | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | RjsIII | 43% | 108 |
| #6 | b0ner | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | Eva Elfie | 36% | 80 |
| #8 | ZaddyLicker | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eva Elfie | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | RjsIII | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | stopmakingfunofme6 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | DRAKEO THE RULER | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Maurice | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RjsIII | 306 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | xxxTRANNYSLAMMER78xxx | 289 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Eva Elfie | 283 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | DRAKEO THE RULER | 106 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | stopmakingfunofme6 | 70 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZaddyLicker | +4.21 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | RjsIII | +3.07 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | DRAKEO THE RULER | +2.49 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | Maurice | +2.02 | 82 | 31 |
| #5 | Eva Elfie | +0.11 | 58 | 60 |





