








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 225 matches | ||
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3453 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3954 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2528 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4250 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,248,501 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 565 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maurice | 57% | 72 |
| #2 | Eva Elfie | 51% | 173 |
| #3 | RjsIII | 50% | 218 |
| #4 | catfindsaleaf.webm | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | stopmakingfunofme6 | 49% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | catfindsaleaf.webm | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | stopmakingfunofme6 | 49% | 145 |
| #6 | b0ner | 48% | 56 |
| #7 | DRAKEO THE RULER | 48% | 193 |
| #8 | гигант короз | 44% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eva Elfie | 21 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | RjsIII | 15 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | stopmakingfunofme6 | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | DRAKEO THE RULER | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | catfindsaleaf.webm | 7 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RjsIII | 698 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | Eva Elfie | 688 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #3 | DRAKEO THE RULER | 302 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | гигант короз | 142 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | stopmakingfunofme6 | 133 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RjsIII | +3.46 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | Maurice | +2.32 | 80 | 30 |
| #3 | DRAKEO THE RULER | +1.27 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | Eva Elfie | +0.82 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | catfindsaleaf.webm | +0.14 | 71 | 22 |





