








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 270 | 16% |
| Smokes | 168 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 806 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 406 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,797 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 697 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Affxct | 72% | 53 |
| #2 | clutchshot_ | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | sinacle | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Sir Ant | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Affxct | 72% | 53 |
| #2 | clutchshot_ | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | sinacle | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Sir Ant | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sinacle | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | clutchshot_ | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Affxct | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Sir Ant | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clutchshot_ | 172 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | sinacle | 92 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | Affxct | 87 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Sir Ant | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Affxct | +6.14 | 87 | 51 |
| #2 | clutchshot_ | +2.90 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | 〄㊜֎Smokey Nagata֎㊜〄 | +1.19 | 50 | 34 |
| #4 | sinacle | +0.10 | 77 | 47 |
| #5 | Sir Ant | -1.48 | 24 | 28 |





