








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
91 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 64 | 26% |
| Smokes | 46 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 93 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 46 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $37,437 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DjväskAn | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | rat smacker | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Grosshandlarn | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DjväskAn | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | rat smacker | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Grosshandlarn | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grosshandlarn | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | DjväskAn | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grosshandlarn | 18 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #2 | DjväskAn | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | rat smacker | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rat smacker | +5.56 | 63 | 50 |
| #2 | Grosshandlarn | +1.63 | 60 | 53 |
| #3 | DjväskAn | +1.35 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | skrrt cobain | -0.43 | 80 | 53 |





