










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1424 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 675 | 15% |
| Smokes | 747 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1540 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1430 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,382 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Brux | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | Tom | 38% | 13 |
| #6 | dms2k; | 35% | 20 |
| #7 | Micro -/\/\- V2 | 20% | 10 |
| #8 | geekd | vxz | 10% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dms2k; | 10 | 0.0240 |
| #2 | #k | 8 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | geekd | vxz | 6 | 0.0260 |
| #4 | Es҉c | 4 | 0.0141 |
| #5 | Brux | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Es҉c | 49 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tom | 47 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #3 | #k | 32 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Brux | 29 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Micro -/\/\- V2 | 22 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dms2k; | +5.09 | 87 | 32 |
| #2 | #k | +4.53 | 93 | 33 |
| #3 | Es҉c | +4.03 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | Micro -/\/\- V2 | +3.88 | 91 | 50 |
| #5 | Tom | +2.71 | 60 | 48 |





