








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 180 matches | ||
| Wingman | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




127 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 506 | 3% |
| Smokes | 6292 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 4476 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4396 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,097,214 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Einfach besser l2p | 54% | 48 |
| #2 | MichJucktDeKuppe | 52% | 79 |
| #3 | Detective H3lix | 51% | 96 |
| #4 | Detective Lustmolch69 | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Einfach besser l2p | 54% | 48 |
| #2 | MichJucktDeKuppe | 52% | 79 |
| #3 | Detective H3lix | 51% | 96 |
| #4 | Detective Lustmolch69 | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Detective Lustmolch69 | 8 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Detective H3lix | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | MichJucktDeKuppe | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Einfach besser l2p | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MichJucktDeKuppe | 129 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Einfach besser l2p | 114 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Detective H3lix | 44 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Detective Lustmolch69 | 8 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Einfach besser l2p | +3.65 | 88 | 62 |
| #2 | voDleH18 | +1.16 | 68 | 33 |
| #3 | Detective Lustmolch69 | +0.49 | 69 | 13 |
| #4 | MichJucktDeKuppe | -0.08 | 68 | 44 |
| #5 | Detective H3lix | -1.21 | 63 | 34 |





