








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2907 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2150 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2952 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3089 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2362 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,352,897 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fentanyl Gameplay | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | KrMuCloud | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Zaryte Vambraces | 60% | 45 |
| #4 | 456 | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Ma ei ole goblin | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | KrMuCloud | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Zaryte Vambraces | 60% | 45 |
| #4 | 456 | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Ma ei ole goblin | 50% | 42 |
| #6 | 64 | 49% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 64 | 15 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Ma ei ole goblin | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | 456 | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Zaryte Vambraces | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Fentanyl Gameplay | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 64 | 245 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ma ei ole goblin | 60 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zaryte Vambraces | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | 456 | 53 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fentanyl Gameplay | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 456 | +4.48 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | Zaryte Vambraces | +3.18 | 58 | 58 |
| #3 | Ma ei ole goblin | +2.13 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | KrMuCloud | +1.82 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | KEISARI | +0.10 | 56 | 54 |





