








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 530 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1049 | 31% |
| Smokes | 580 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 842 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 918 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,257,243 of utility $267 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 713 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rune | 55% | 67 |
| #2 | Bertel | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | Admiral rødkål | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | Corneliussen | 51% | 186 |
| #5 | Lucaツ | 49% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucaツ | 13 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Admiral rødkål | 11 | 0.0203 |
| #3 | Corneliussen | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Rune | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #5 | Bertel | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corneliussen | 422 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Rune | 210 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lucaツ | 186 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Bertel | 129 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Admiral rødkål | 86 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rune | +1.73 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Gervig | +1.53 | 76 | 43 |
| #3 | Lucaツ | +0.68 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | Kris | +0.23 | 77 | 46 |
| #5 | Admiral rødkål | +0.17 | 60 | 54 |





