










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1850 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 694 matches | ||
| Wingman | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




172 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9646 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,284 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8250 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3282 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 5583 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5169 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,218,409 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2419 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gervig | 55% | 67 |
| #2 | Grøn Afrikaner | 53% | 74 |
| #3 | Admiral rødkål | 51% | 549 |
| #4 | Bumle_style | 50% | 78 |
| #5 | Corneliussen | 49% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Admiral rødkål | 51% | 549 |
| #4 | Bumle_style | 50% | 78 |
| #5 | Corneliussen | 49% | 130 |
| #6 | Pave Rotten Mugi | 49% | 116 |
| #7 | ™Joda-FunkyMonkey™ | 46% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Admiral rødkål | 137 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | Grøn Afrikaner | 39 | 0.0275 |
| #3 | Pave Rotten Mugi | 17 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Gervig | 15 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | Bumle_style | 13 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Admiral rødkål | 1066 | 0.10 | 20 min |
| #2 | Corneliussen | 304 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Bumle_style | 294 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | Grøn Afrikaner | 211 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gervig | 132 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rune | +1.88 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | Gervig | +1.03 | 67 | 42 |
| #3 | Grøn Afrikaner | +0.89 | 76 | 46 |
| #4 | Admiral rødkål | +0.08 | 64 | 52 |
| #5 | Corneliussen | -0.34 | 55 | 49 |





