








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 295 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8904 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6304 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4219 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5650 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,009,222 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 559 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loon | 74% | 34 |
| #2 | BOT Hoppy | 62% | 132 |
| #3 | Booqueefious | 59% | 203 |
| #4 | The Phoenix | 55% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loon | 74% | 34 |
| #2 | BOT Hoppy | 62% | 132 |
| #3 | Booqueefious | 59% | 203 |
| #4 | The Phoenix | 55% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booqueefious | 32 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | BOT Hoppy | 21 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | The Phoenix | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | loon | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booqueefious | 1054 | 0.26 | 25 min |
| #2 | The Phoenix | 224 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | BOT Hoppy | 209 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | loon | 70 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gore | +1.84 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | Booqueefious | +1.46 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | loon | +1.24 | 91 | 50 |
| #4 | The Phoenix | +0.88 | 5 | 82 |
| #5 | BOT Hoppy | +0.41 | 28 | 43 |





