








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1340 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 613 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




129 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,079 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12624 | 38% |
| Smokes | 5677 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 8650 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6128 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,634,174 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4969 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Hoppy | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | The Phoenix | 62% | 224 |
| #3 | Gore | 59% | 203 |
| #4 | DrGibbles | 58% | 48 |
| #5 | Nudgalk | 38% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT Hoppy | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | The Phoenix | 62% | 224 |
| #3 | Gore | 59% | 203 |
| #4 | DrGibbles | 58% | 48 |
| #5 | Nudgalk | 38% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Phoenix | 41 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Gore | 21 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Nudgalk | 20 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | BOT Hoppy | 14 | 0.0165 |
| #5 | DrGibbles | 9 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gore | 665 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | The Phoenix | 662 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | Nudgalk | 396 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | DrGibbles | 323 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #5 | BOT Hoppy | 63 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booqueefious | +2.30 | 78 | 70 |
| #2 | Gore | +2.20 | 84 | 64 |
| #3 | The Phoenix | +1.27 | 6 | 84 |
| #4 | BOT Hoppy | +0.28 | 39 | 46 |
| #5 | DrGibbles | -0.07 | 74 | 74 |





