








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 867 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5517 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4384 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3390 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4968 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,907,322 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | 隔壁lao王 | 52% | 83 |
| #11 | chumuuu | 52% | 60 |
| #12 | Jean Bart | 45% | 75 |
| #13 | RELO | 45% | 60 |
| #14 | shy | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Archer | 690 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | 隔壁lao王 | 314 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | shy | 297 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #4 | redCOMET | 277 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jean Bart | 247 | 0.15 | 7 min |





