








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 488 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 91 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




567 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5690 | 39% |
| Smokes | 3145 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3384 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2381 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,426,357 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andi | 50% | 54 |
| #2 | Tralalero Tralala | 50% | 239 |
| #3 | child Moe Lester | 48% | 160 |
| #4 | nicholaus | 47% | 45 |
| #5 | Harhir | 46% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | child Moe Lester | 48% | 160 |
| #4 | nicholaus | 47% | 45 |
| #5 | Harhir | 46% | 91 |
| #6 | Kaapski | 43% | 82 |
| #7 | Tuukka Kuru | 42% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tralalero Tralala | 130 | 0.0260 |
| #2 | Tuukka Kuru | 130 | 0.0453 |
| #3 | child Moe Lester | 113 | 0.0376 |
| #4 | Harhir | 104 | 0.0707 |
| #5 | Kaapski | 48 | 0.0320 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | child Moe Lester | 620 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | Kaapski | 310 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tralalero Tralala | 146 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Harhir | 129 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Andi | 107 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaapski | +5.11 | 74 | 62 |
| #2 | child Moe Lester | +2.46 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | nicholaus | +1.51 | 74 | 48 |
| #4 | Harhir | +1.03 | 36 | 39 |
| #5 | Andi | +0.82 | 64 | 48 |





