








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 656 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3531 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1298 | 19% |
| Smokes | 712 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 3041 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1795 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,225 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | {_PK_}✪Robert3706✪ | 56% | 78 |
| #2 | Boerepompie | 48% | 156 |
| #3 | SnakeCrab | 41% | 110 |
| #4 | CigaretteStompie | 40% | 174 |
| #5 | UniKornPrincess | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boerepompie | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | SnakeCrab | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | CigaretteStompie | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | {_PK_}✪Robert3706✪ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | UniKornPrincess | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LT.Roach | 201 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | {_PK_}✪Robert3706✪ | 159 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | CigaretteStompie | 97 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | sicko_ly | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Boerepompie | 60 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | {_PK_}✪Robert3706✪ | +5.75 | 50 | 57 |
| #2 | Boerepompie | +5.16 | 63 | 48 |
| #3 | MrPanda | -1.21 | 35 | 33 |
| #4 | SnakeCrab | -1.33 | 30 | 14 |
| #5 | sicko_ly | -2.04 | 27 | 43 |





