










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 701 | 39% |
| Smokes | 395 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 250 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 429 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $247,031 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STEEJAA | 45% | 51 |
| #2 | ImperialKoala | 44% | 27 |
| #3 | Gonnz0_ | 37% | 19 |
| #4 | Bailey | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STEEJAA | 45% | 51 |
| #2 | ImperialKoala | 44% | 27 |
| #3 | Gonnz0_ | 37% | 19 |
| #4 | Bailey | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImperialKoala | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Gonnz0_ | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Bailey | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bailey | 42 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Gonnz0_ | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | STEEJAA | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| #4 | ImperialKoala | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gonnz0_ | +6.56 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | Bailey | +1.31 | 71 | 41 |
| #3 | Dyslexo | -0.28 | 41 | 52 |
| #4 | ImperialKoala | -2.28 | 39 | 12 |
| #5 | STEEJAA | -2.56 | 44 | 8 |





