








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,170 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 727 | 62% |
| Smokes | 149 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 254 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 40 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,039,268 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nix. | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | wearn | 48% | 46 |
| #3 | Miracle | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | Lil' Moose | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | Malediction | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Miracle | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | Lil' Moose | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | Malediction | 44% | 34 |
| #6 | Moose | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | Sacccer | 34% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Miracle | 9 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | Lil' Moose | 9 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | wearn | 6 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Nix. | 6 | 0.0145 |
| #5 | Sacccer | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sacccer | 126 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | Miracle | 98 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | wearn | 60 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Malediction | 53 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Moose | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nix. | +4.09 | 96 | 26 |
| #2 | Sacccer | +3.86 | 86 | 54 |
| #3 | Malediction | +1.31 | 74 | 43 |
| #4 | wearn | +1.08 | 73 | 35 |
| #5 | Miracle | +0.48 | 68 | 52 |





