








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 742 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 159 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1876 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1582 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1806 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1703 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,359 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jean "Baas" Oosthuizen™ | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | ₮su₪ami | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Twitch JorjiCS | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | NOT A SMURF | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | p4ntiez | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | vlam | 50% | 76 |
| #9 | =SIDDIE= | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | FL0rest | 45% | 11 |
| #11 | **𝒜𝐿𝐼_ZA** | 11% | 9 |
| #12 | Wonder69 | 0% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlam | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | p4ntiez | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Twitch JorjiCS | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | ₮su₪ami | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlam | 131 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | FL0rest | 48 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | =SIDDIE= | 46 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jean "Baas" Oosthuizen™ | 45 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | p4ntiez | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch JorjiCS | +3.08 | 51 | 54 |
| #2 | p4ntiez | +2.28 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | NOT A SMURF | +2.14 | 29 | 75 |
| #4 | Pistol Piet | +1.75 | 87 | 64 |
| #5 | Wonder69 | +1.50 | 94 | 34 |





