








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2061 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1985 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2711 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1514 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2208 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $875,884 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neppis | 53% | 60 |
| #2 | Seppo PapuBers | 51% | 129 |
| #3 | Ossi | 51% | 138 |
| #4 | Villewk | 49% | 71 |
| #5 | Alb3rtoA | 48% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | cyberjonne | 48% | 145 |
| #7 | Vard3 | 44% | 136 |
| #8 | :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD | 32% | 28 |
| #9 | Zou | 24% | 21 |
| #10 | teemu | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vard3 | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Alb3rtoA | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Seppo PapuBers | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Ossi | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Villewk | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alb3rtoA | 481 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Ossi | 366 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Vard3 | 198 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Villewk | 155 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Neppis | 140 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seppo PapuBers | +1.74 | 74 | 32 |
| #2 | :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD | +1.60 | 70 | 64 |
| #3 | cyberjonne | +0.74 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | ÖTÖKUR | +0.69 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | teemu | +0.33 | 68 | 67 |





