








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 779 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2091 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1038 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1500 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $450,231 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teemu | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Ossi | 56% | 107 |
| #3 | Neppis | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Alb3rtoA | 52% | 132 |
| #5 | Seppo PapuBers | 51% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Villewk | 49% | 35 |
| #7 | Vard3 | 48% | 66 |
| #8 | ÖTÖKUR | 48% | 145 |
| #9 | :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD | 42% | 26 |
| #10 | Zou | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seppo PapuBers | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ÖTÖKUR | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Vard3 | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Alb3rtoA | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Villewk | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ossi | 314 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Alb3rtoA | 306 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | ÖTÖKUR | 160 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Villewk | 98 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Vard3 | 94 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teemu | +3.06 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | Seppo PapuBers | +2.01 | 74 | 30 |
| #3 | :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD | +1.64 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | cyberjonne | +0.83 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | Ossi | +0.17 | 56 | 62 |





